Archive for category love

Excerpt 150


He looked at his watch.

“Now?”

“Why not? It didn’t happen on the plane.”

“There was extreme turbulence. And, I didn’t think it would happen on the plane.”

“I just want to be alone for a minute,” she said, taking his hand.

She led him through the crowd, ignoring the noisy announcements and bright ads blaring from the large screens overhead. She would have to decide what was going to happen in this restroom. It was the most private area she could think of in this overpopulated airport. She wanted to tell him what she read in the letter and hear his response.

They stopped short once Ala saw the line of women stretched down the hallway. Danno checked his watch again.

“Ala, maybe we should get you to the gate.”

“No,” she said. She could not board the plane feeling how she did. Something had to shift in order for her to have peace of mind. “Go see if the men’s room is empty.”

He scoffed and ran his hand through his hair.

“What? Why? What are we doing? This is crazy.”

“I was crazy to have dinner with you. Go look.”

He walked in as she surveyed for security.  She didn’t notice anyone wearing a uniform. Danno leaned hallway out of the entrance and waved her inside. The restroom was surprisingly clean with white tiled walls. Ala opened the first stall and he followed her in. She made sure the lock worked and hung her bag on the hook.

They heard footsteps come through and Danno clamped his hand over her mouth, which prompted her to start laughing. They listened to the stream of urine. If Ala confronted him in this stall, her life could be in danger. He was a lot stronger than she was. He could snap her neck and leave her in this stall. She wouldn’t be found until long after his flight took off. Everyone in her life would never know why she died in an airport in South Korea. The man turned on the faucet to wash his hands.

But really, what was in it for Danno this whole time? Of course there was the money, which is why they met in the first place. There was no arguing that. And he may have been surprised that he found her to be so attractive. And she did make herself easily available very early on.

However, he could’ve killed her the first night. It couldn’t be that difficult for him to find women to spend time with. He was powerful and charismatic. He had taken care of her when she found her way back home. They had so much beyond what was supposed to have happened that summer. She had everything with him.

The harsh overhead lights made her skin look grayish green and the dried sweat on her dress was now being reconstituted as she figured out what to do next. Before she could peak through the hinges to see if the man had left, Danno had lifted her against the stall door and kissed her. She kissed back, violently and hungrily. The adrenaline from surviving the flight kicked in for both of them, followed by the idea that they would be spending half a day apart.

He pushed her against the opposite wall and unbuckled his pants. She hopped up and wrapped her legs around him. The sound of her breathing filled her ears; it was all she could hear. Reaching up her dress, he tore off her panties and shoved them into his pocket.

She was terrified of getting caught. She had no idea what the laws were in this part of the world. This fed into her urgency and she pulled him closer to her, knocking her sandals off. She yanked his hair and, once again, his hand covered her mouth as he carefully lowered her to the ground. He held her close to him. She wanted to live in this restroom with him and never speak to anyone again.

“Do you want to change clothes?” He asked.

“Okay.”

“I’ll wait outside.” He stepped out of the stall and used the sink.  Ala opened her suitcase and found fresh panties and a long dress. She stepped out of her sundress and wadded it into a ball. She gathered her purse and stepped out, throwing the dress in the trashcan.  She rinsed her face and the back of her neck.

He held out her ticket.

“Are you ready to take off?”

She nodded and let him take the suitcase.

“I have to tell you,” he said, guiding her to the terminal.” He was going to confess the whole story in the middle of the airport. He probably assumed she wouldn’t be able to react in front of so many witnesses. She braced herself.

“What?”

“You’ve become my best friend.”

“Oh,” she looked down and kept walking. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she tired to wipe them away without him noticing.

“This is it,” he said, double checking the sign.  “They’re probably already boarding your group.”

“Alright,” Ala said, taking the suitcase from him.  He took it back from her and set it down on the ground.  He hugged her with his whole body.

“I’ll be right behind you,” he whispered.  She wiped her eyes against his shoulder.

He squeezed tighter before letting go.  She got into the boarding line. She saw him watching her in the corner of her eye.  She read the ticket and quickly looked behind her. He was gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Excerpt 149


She slammed the pages down on the table.  Both hands shook uncontrollably and she feared she might lose control of her body.  She picked the letter back up and skimmed for keywords, tried looking it over to find where she misread.  The words stayed the same. Danno knew Bruno before he ever knew her.  He knew Emmanuel. He knew where he lived. He never would have come to her town if it weren’t to try to get Emmanuel’s money.

She stood, letting the papers fall to the floor.  Everyone was still working on their computers or talking on their phones.  Men were drinking beer with their suit jackets on the backs of their seats.  There was no earthquake happening except inside of her.  Everything inside was pushing her to go.  Every thought she had was prefaced with “Go now. Take your bag and go.”

If she left, Danno would be worried.  She knew he loved her, which was the worst part.  She knew he didn’t care about the deal or the money. She knew he would die if anything happened to her. She knew their time together changed him, as it had changed her.  It was the worst part because there was love.

She slumped back down in the chair.

“More tea, Miss?” a server asked meekly.

“No, thank you. Just the check.”

“It’s on the account Miss.”

“Yes, okay, thank you.”

He ran his world by signing his name.  His name took care of everything. He lived differently than people who had to apply for credit or hope they could save enough money to retire. He risked a lot, but the reward was living a life that wasn’t confining day after day.

Her chest tightened as she folded the pages and shoved them back into the envelope. She knew Emmanuel was telling the truth, but felt better trying to find holes in his explanation, to prove him wrong.  Why would he still pay her when he knew something, anything, had gone wrong?

She could confront Danno and ask him to tell her the truth. He o course would know that she already knew what the truth was to even ask in the first place. He would know she knew about all of it. What did he do to people who knew too much? Did he kill them or have someone else do it? He wouldn’t actually kill her if he loved her, she thought. The again, she had nearly forgotten that a man burned to death because of her. Self-defense or not, she had taken a life.

He could be the only kind of person with the only kind of life that she could actually build something with. They both did things the way other people didn’t do them. They both felt connected to one another. She wouldn’t be able to find anyone who made her feel that way he had. And he meant the most to her since she was left the country with him and didn’t tell anyone she knew that she was going.

She held her hands out and tried to steady them. When this didn’t work, she did her best to dry her eyes by waving them rapidly.  People began to look at her.  She was the most underdressed in her sundress, damp with sweat,  sandals and sunglasses. She took another cigarette out and lit it.  This time the smoked entered her lungs easier.

“Get up and go. Leave,” she whispered.  She zipped up her bag and swung it over her shoulder.

“Hey, are you smoking?” He said, coming up behind her.

She jumped, sending ashes all over the armchair.

“Just one,” she said, stubbing it out next to the first cigarette she had smoked.

He sat on the coffee table in front of her and took her face into his hands.

“This flight is not going to be as long. Just have a nice dinner, read a little and I’ll be at the gate in no time.”

She nodded and let tears slide down her cheeks, into his hands. He hugged her.

“Come on.  Everything is going to work out.”

He signed the check and took her hand, walking her out with his arm around her.

“I have to use the restroom,” she said.

“Sure. To the right. I’ll wait.

“Do you want to come in with me?” She asked, winking.

 

 

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Excerpt 148


Ala awoke with Danno sleeping with his head on her shoulder.  They had landed in Seoul safely.  Her head was tender from the stress of the turbulence and the sleep she managed to get was not restful. She unbuckled her seat belt and gently climbed over Danno’s seat.  Her legs nearly gave out when her feet hit the floor and she headed toward the restroom.

“Ms., please sit down,” the weary stewardess said slouched in the seat she was still strapped into. Her jacket was off and her eye makeup was smudged.

“I really need to stretch. How much longer until we’re off the plane?” Ala said.

“A few more minutes, when we get word from the captain.”

“We’re on the ground.  I don’t understand the hold up,”

Danno woke up and immediately registered the exchange going on between them.  He got up and took Ala’s hand.

“Let’s just sit down,” he whispered.

“Stop acting like I am crazy.  I have every right to stand up after a whole day on this plane.”

“I know. We’re almost done. Let’s sit.”

She let him pull her back to their seats.  He took her hand into his hands.

“We made it through the plane almost crashing. The last thing we need is for you to be detained in South Korea for mouthing off to a flight attendant.” He kissed her.

She took a compact out of her purse and ran her fingers through her hair, which looked better after she had slept on it. She turned on her phone, even though she knew the staff would take issue with this if they saw her.  She had missed eleven phone calls during the flight and could see the most recent three were from Jase.  Her face grew hot and she leaned forward, afraid she was going to be sick.

“Ala,” Danno rubbed her back. “We can get off now.  Are you okay?”

She nodded and made sure she had all of her things. Their luggage was still in tact there a sense of relief among the passengers that the flight had come to an end without the use of an emergency slide Some of them even thanked the stewardesses while leaving the plane.  Ala walk straight past them without making eye contact.

The waiting area was very hot.  The smell of people who had been on planes and in airports for multiple days overwhelmed her. She and Danno held hands tightly and squeezed through the crowd.

“Are you hungry?” He asked.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Let’s go the lounge, so I can have a cigarette.”

She wondered how soon into their relationship she could mention that his smoking bothered her. It added to his sex appeal, but now she was concerned about both of them being alive and healthy for years to come.

Danno took out his membership card and showed it to the pretty hostess who was wearing a sea green kimono.  They took two armchairs away from everyone else and ordered some tea. He lit a cigarette and, leaning back in his chair, winked at her.

“Do you think anyone else has had a crazier time than we have?”

What she had learned for sure this summer was that there were crazy people everywhere and that there was no reason to believe that she, or anyone else, was ever safe.

“I’m going to make a phone call,” she said, walking to the window that overlooked the tarmac. She didn’t know what time it was back home, but knew that Jase wouldn’t care when she called even if it was the middle of the night. The phone only rang once.

“Ala?” His voice was badly broken like he had been walking through a blizzard with bronchitis. She knew he had been up drinking.

“Hi. Did I wake you?”

“No, I’ve been up. Where are you?” He said with urgency in his voice.

She bit the side of her cheek.  She always got really honest when she felt like he needed her help.

“Jase, what happened?”

“My mom died.”

She pushed the phone against her ear, picturing Abigail’s face.

“I’m so sorry.”

“She was alone. I don’t know how, but she was all alone when the hospital called. My idiot brother.”

“Oh Jase, I-” She felt her throat constricting, trying to hold back tears.

“Can you come home? Or here? I need you.”

She looked back at Danno who was also on a call. Panic flowed through her aching legs. They were not together anymore, but she knew this day would come and couldn’t imagine not being there.

“I can’t come right now. I’m sorry.”

“Tomorrow then? Please Ala, I’ll never ask you for anything again.”

“I don’t think so, Jase.”

“Where are you that’s so Goddamn important?” He yelled. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Look just please; let me get you a ticket. We can talk when you get here.”

She shook her head.

“I just can’t.”

“I’m always going to be waiting for you,” he said starting to cry. She hung up the phone.

She walked back to Danno, wiping both eyes with her fingers, as he was putting his phone away.

“I love you,” she said, sitting on his lap.

“Are you crying?”

“I just love you.”

“I love you,” he said, pulling her mouth to his mouth. “You’re going to have to board soon. Finish your tea. I’m going to use the restroom and then I’ll walk you to the gate.”

She took her seat and made herself take a sip of tea. It burned her mouth.  She took a cigarette from the pack on the coffee table and lit it.  She inhaled and the smoke seemed to make tiny hatch marks down the back of her throat.  She coughed violently.  Several people dressed in suits looked over at her.  She took another puff and eased back into the chair.

It wasn’t possible to go back for Abigail’s funeral. There would be too much pain and too many people who had known her as someone else. She would be uncomfortable the entire time and Jase would lean on her for more support than she could give. Years later, she could imagine feeling like a heartless person, and if that happened, she would apologize then.

She opened her bag and put her phone away. Emmanuel’s letter was crumpled toward the bottom. She smoothed the pages out on her lap and a smaller slip of paper flittered to the ground. It was a check for ten thousand dollars. She folded it in half and shoved it into her wallet.

She stubbed out her cigarette and continued to read.

“…I am still out of the country and, while I have received disturbing news about my property being disrupted, I am a firm believer in assessing a claim before reacting. This only has to do with the current company you keep, specifically Danno. As someone who has known his character well for years, I feel it is my duty to warn you that you are in danger.”

Sweat spiked up on the back of her neck. She wanted to reread, but had to keep going.

“When I hired Bruno ten years ago, I thought he was a lowly gardener who hadn’t had much luck. Being from my native land, I trusted him without any idea that he was acting as Danno’s informant. I am not going to delve into the kind of business we do, since I have a feeling that in your current situation, time is precious. I can only say that my fortune is spoken of often in my industry’s circles and that the two of them have been working for quite some time to drain my assets.

Apparently Danno and Bruno’s relationship has gone south, and Bruno was not paid what was promised to him. This is where you came in. There aren’t any known people or things in this world that would affect Danno’s decisions, but you apparently have done so. This is not something to be proud of. I am only relieved that you had enough fight in you to stay alive.

Please do whatever you have to and get away from this man. Even if he doesn’t kill you himself, his line of work will. You will have no way of reaching me once I send this letter. I hope that for you and your parent’s sake, you leave this unsavory character’s side and find safety.

Best regards,

Emmanuel”

 

 

 

 

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Excerpt 147


Dear Ala,

Please read this letter in its entirety.  While I know your instinct may be to tear it up, or act as if you’ve never received it, please work against it.  It is imperative you know that I am not writing to you out of anger for what may or may not have happened. I am still out of the country and, while I have received disturbing news about my property being disrupted, I am a firm believer in assessing a claim before reacting. This only has to do with…

Her seat seemed to slump and began to shake suddenly.  Danno woke up and took her hand.  Their tray tables rattled, spilling her ginger ale on her legs, and the seat belt lights blinked incessantly. The stewardess wobbled toward the front of the aisle and picked up the intercom speaker.

First she spoke in Korean and then, Ala assumed, repeated, “Please everyone take your seats and fasten your seat belts. We are experiencing some turbulence and at the captain’s request, please remain in your seats.”

Ala had acquired the bad habit of never wearing her seat belt on flights.  She reached down to find the buckle and the plane shifted again, slamming her forehead against the tray table.

“Oh no, here sit back, let me see,” Danno said, rubbing the spot on her forehead that she knew would later erupt into a bump.

The vibration grew quicker and the stewardesses strapped themselves into the seats parallel to the rows in the front of the cabin.  Ala shoved the letter into her purse and zipped it, making sure all of the compartments were closed.  Her legs shook as she felt her stomach drop, as the plane seemed to turn in the opposite direction.

The intercom came on again and a man’s voice took over.  He spoke Korean in a calming tone, but Ala could tell there was vomit rising in the back of his throat he was trying to keep down.  The speaker cut out before her could repeat himself in English.

A drink cart came crashing down the aisle, slamming into a man’s elbow.  He screamed.

“Put the Goddamn brake on that cart!” He yelled.  A stewardess unstrapped herself from her seat and ran over.  Grabbing the cart handles, she struggled to push it forward. The man got out of his seat to help her.

“I’m sorry Sir. The brake was on.”

An alarm went off and the tension among the few passengers flourished, as the air seemed to tighten around them.  Ala pictured them plunging into the black water and being ripped apart by whatever unseen beings they would disturb.  She felt up and down her seat, trying to find the flotation device.  Danno took her hand.

“Calm down.  The plane isn’t going down.  It’s a storm.” He pointed to the droplets covering her window.  “Don’t waste your energy being hysterical.”

“But it might go down. Everyone is scared,” she said.

“Come here,” he said, wrapping his arm around her. He pulled the blanket up over both of their legs and put his neck pillow behind her back. Even with the awkward armrest jutting into her ribs, she began to feel better.

“Apple,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Apple.”

She looked at him.

“What are you doing?”

“Now you say a food that begins with the letter “B”.” The stewardess reached into the drink cart and pulled out a few ice cubes.  She wrapped them in a napkin and handed them to the man to hold against his elbow. The lights flickered in the cabin. Ala tried to hold in her urine. “Come on,” he said.

“Bologni,” she said. He nodded.

“Chicken Cordon Bleu. That’s two points for me.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I used the letter “c” twice.”

“Fine.  Dagwood Sandwich,” she said.

“What is that?”

“You know, from Blondie. The sandwich that looks like it’s twelve layers of meat and cheese.”

“What’s Blondie?”

“The comic book?  The sandwich enthusiast. My father and I used to read them on weekends.”

Her eyes filled with tears.  She had avoided her parents and now was going to drown in the dark before ever seeing them again. The pressure around her heart made her nervous to move any part of her body.

“Fine, the point is yours under the condition that this so called sandwich has been attempted by someone other than a fictional character.  Éclair.”

“Fettuccini.”

“Gazpacho”

“Haddock.”

“Ice cream.”

An overhead bin opened, tossing a trunk out that burst open when it hit the floor.  A lady screamed and made the sign of the cross against her chest.  Ala closed her eyes.

“Jell-O”

“Hardly a food, but fine.”

“You’re sort of a pain in the ass with this game.”

“I just play fair,” he said, rubbing the palm of her hand. “Kale.”

“Lemongrass.”

The plane veered sharply and straightened out.  The alarm stopped pulsing and the lights stabilized.  Ala was sure they had crashed and that she was watching the scene while dead. The stewardess tried to adjust her cap and walked back to the intercom.

“It seems that we are through the turbulent portion of our flight.  The captain asks that you please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened. We will come through with beverages offerings once we receive clearance.”

“We’re okay,” he said. “And I’m pretty sure I won.”

Ala pinched his forearm and then rested her head against his chest.  She drifted off just as the sun cut through the black sky.

 

 

 

 

 

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Excerpt 146


Her nails scraped against the sealed flap as she looked around to make sure no one was watching her.  Everyone seemed to be concerned about the directions for boarding gates or taking items out of their suitcases to meet the approved weight for checking bags.

Ala thought about calling her parents to let them know she was leaving the country.  She was used to doing so even if she was only leaving the city, and couldn’t imagine their worry when they realized they had no idea where she was. This however, was before their hobby had taken such precedence in their lives.

If she called her parents, and they bothered to pick up the phone, they would try to stop her from getting on the flight. Her father would probably drive to the airport.  They would see Danno and would want to talk to him.  They would think he was trying to coerce her to leave the country.

The seating area was hot and she could feel the bottom of her feet sticking to the leather in her sandals.  She loosened the straps, took them off and stretched her toes.  She ripped the edge of the envelope open slowly.

“Ms.?”

She looked up and saw a security guard towering over her.  He wore a hat that was too small for his head and had a radio in his hand ready to notify someone if he needed help.

“Yes?”

“I have to ask that you put your shoes back on.”

“Why?” She said.

“Well, it’s a public area. And shoes are required for sanitation reasons.”

Ala looked past him at a young woman changing a baby’s diaper on the floor.  A man next to her was sleeping with a stream of drool dripping onto his shirt.  Another man ate from a cardboard container and picked at his ear. It was hard to believe that she could be singled out as being the most disruptive out of these people.

“What about them?” She said, pointing at the group.

“What about them?” He said, shifting his weight, growing impatient.

“They’re clearly not taking sanitation into account.”

“They all have shoes on.”

“You mean to tell me that I can wipe up shit in the middle of this sea of people, but I can’t take my shoes off for a minute?  Even though I’ll have to take them off for security?”  She heard her voice getting sharper.

“Yes,” he said, smiling. His teeth were brown around the gum line and it bothered her. She didn’t like taking criticism from people whom were themselves making the same mistakes. She had always had difficulty with supervisors that she didn’t feel matched her intelligence. Now it made her furious that a man was referring to her as unpolished, when he himself seemed to have poor hygiene habits.

She picked up one of the sandals and stood. Her intention was to smack him across the face with the dirty sole.

“Is there a problem?” Danno said, approaching with the boarding passes.

“Yes.  He won’t let me take my shoes off for a minute even though all of those foul people over there are doing whatever they want.” This she said too loudly and summoned several dirt looks.

Danno smiled at the guard and gently removed the sandal from her hand.  Dropping it to the ground, he said, “Do me a favor and put you shoes on.”

“Why?” She said, knowing that she would be putting them back on, but feeling ashamed that the security guard was going to get his way.

“So we can get on with the trip. Come on. Just do it. Please.”

She rolled her eyes at the guard and sat back down.  Danno nodded at him as he strutted away.  Ala nearly broke one strap by tugging it roughly across her foot. She straightened her dress and swung her purse over her shoulder.

“I got our tickets. There’s only one issue.  We couldn’t get on the same connecting flight from Seoul,” he said.

“Oh really?” She said, deflated.

“You’ll get there before I do.”

“How long will we be apart?”

“About twelve hours.  We’ll be so exhausted at that point, you’ll barely notice. I did my best.”

“I know. Thank you,” she said.

“We are carrying on, so security should be quick.”

She followed him into the snaking line and waited, making sure she did not make eye contact with anyone.

“And how are you today?” A man checking their tickets asked.

“We’re fine, thanks,” Danno said before Ala could respond.  She could tell he felt like she was yanking him into the quicksand with her.  She wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to drug her before they boarded the plane to avoid any confrontations.

They found a table by the window in the club cafe.  The glass slanted forward enough to be able to see planes taking off.  The linens and china were elegant and Ala felt under dressed.  She put on a pair of sunglasses and arranged her hair so that she had more of a side part.

Danno ordered a bottle of white wine for them since it was so hot and a platter of oysters.  Ala worried that her stomach would turn if she had only that before flying and decided to order a chicken salad as well.

“Are you excited?” He said, beaming at her. Among her anxiety, she had forgotten how much she looked forward to spending each day with him.

“I can’t wait to get there,” she said.

“What’s the first thing you want to do?”

“Meet you at your gate.”

“And after that?”

“Visit the Bogyoke Market and buy hats.”

“That’s a great idea.  I read that it’s common for scalps to start frying within the first hour.”

“The book used the term “scalps frying?”

“Of course. Crouton?” He dangled his fork in front of her face.

“No thank you,” she laughed. “But what are you going to do while we’re apart?”

“Work, no doubt.”

“From Asia?”

“Of course.  I used to work out of Guyana years ago.”

“Don’t you think you’ll want a new job?” She said, toying with the hard boiled egg on her plate.

“Well sure, but not until I learn Burmese.”

“What about working in tourism?” She said.  He placed his hand over hers on the table.

“Believe me, you won’t want me to have a different job.  No one will bother us. That’s the beauty of working remotely.”

“Alright,” she said, finishing her wine. He leaned across the table and kissed her.

They lingered at the magazine stand so that they wouldn’t have to pace around the gate.  Ala bought several books and a large blanket.  Danno bought cough drops and a neck pillow.

“My throat always hurts during plane rides.”

“Maybe they’ll serve some nice warm fish soup to soothe you.”

He grabbed her and, pinning her arms to her sides, blew against her neck.

“Stop!” She squealed.

The cashier rolled her eyes as she handed them the bags.

The first six rows of the plane were empty and Ala hoped the stewardess would permit them to move up to first class, even though it was unlikely.  She settled into her window seat as Danno tucked the blanket around her legs.  Takeoff was smooth and the few people on the flight were quiet. Ala drank ginger ale to settle her stomach and was soon asleep.

Waking up, she looked at the black sky out the window.  She liked the idea of flying over the ocean at night, of being midair in the pitch black. Danno was asleep next to her and she was wide-awake. She wanted to wake him and pull him into the bathroom after her, something she had never done. She felt like a restless honeymooner.

A subtitled movie hummed from the screen in front of them but she had no interest.  She took one of the new books from the bag and into page three her eyes began to burn. She took her purse from under her seat and found her lip balm. Applying it, she saw the envelope and took it out.  She finished opening the flap and unfolded the pages.

 

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Excerpt 145


Danno drove slowly, letting other cars pass them on both sides of the road.  Ala held tightly to his arm, slightly squeezing it every time she thought about bringing up the wallet.

“I feel better,” she said.

“So do I.  You look better,” he said, gently rubbing her knuckles with his thumb, sending shivers down her spine.  “We should buy some boots at the airport.  For hiking.”

“Do they sell them there?” She asked.

“I’m sure.  They have everything else you could need. You’ll also have to teach me about all of the poisonous plants and trees to avoid.”

Ala tried to recall the books she had read about Burma.  When she first became infatuated with the idea of a visit, she had chosen the books on a romantic whim, rather than practical preparation. Sitting in a dust ridden hidden corner or the library, she had paged through each volume, running her fingers over the pictures printed on the old paper, smiling.  The more severe the argument with Jase was, the more seriously she studied the text.

She learned about arrow poisons and gloriosa root. She had chosen a wardrobe from a catalogue fit for hiking through the jungle toward the love temple.  It was important to wear sturdy soled shoes, but not anything that could be destructive to the land.  All of the clothes she had with her now were frilly and pretty, meant for a summer filled with parties and boat rides.  She would have to wear layers until they could find proper gear.

“We still haven’t eaten.  Is the club okay?”

“Fine,” Ala said. Danno cared a lot more about the kind of food he ate than she did.  Her parents had always ordered out when they were home.  Neither could use a microwave properly.  Prime rib was a favorite, along with buttered noodles for Ala.  It was the only dish she wanted to eat because meat and onions terrified her.  Her parents never pushed her to try anything else.

Danno reached into his suit pocket and pulled out an envelope.

“This was in the mailbox,” he said, handing it to her.

She felt the grain of the thick ecru paper that she remembered to be Emmanuel’s stationary.  It matched the envelope from the letter he had given her which proposed the summer housesitting job. She put it inside of her purse.  It was important to relax before the flight.  If she were to have another outburst, Danno would not let her anywhere near the plane.

He pulled over on the shoulder before the airport entrance.  A car pulled up and dropped off a man with shiny shoes and teeth.  He approached the driver’s side.

“Hello.”

Danno stepped out and opened the trunk.  The man stepped aside and twitched slightly.  His head moved back and forth rhythm Ala only noticed because she was staring. She let herself out of the car and hurried over and he placed all of their luggage on the curb.

“What is going on?” She asked.

“Give me a minute,” Danno said in a voice that wanted to yell at her, but held back.  He closed the trunk and tossed the keys to the man. Then, he opened the door to the other car and gestured for her to climb inside.

Rainbow was behind the wheel and nodded in the rearview mirror.  Danno climbed in and tapped Rainbow on the shoulder.  He started driving and turned on the radio.

“I sold the car,” Danno said.

“What?  Why?”

“Airfare,” he said.

She had forgotten to take money into account.  It was the reason she hadn’t gone to the temple sooner.  Now she believed she hadn’t gone so that she could meet him.  Still though, she knew he had a lot more money than what the car cost.  The sinfully beautiful car that he could have had many of for all she knew.  She didn’t know if the car meant anything to him, but it meant a lot to her.

He smiled and looked out the window.  He was happy about the transaction.  She nestled into the nook of his arm and took a deep breath.  He wasn’t attached to things like she was.  He was used to moving on.

Rainbow pulled into the drop off lane at departures.

“Bye,” she said.  He nodded.  Danno got out without saying anything. An attendant came over with a rolling cart and loaded their bags onto the deck.  The wheels squeaked and made her very nervous, like everyone was going to notice them and know they were trying to get out of the country.

The airport was very crowded for it not being a holiday weekend.  The line for security was wrapped around three cues.  There were suitcases stacked on trunks and strollers used for random bags and children clung to their parents legs.

“You don’t look so good,” Danno said, his face nearly losing color.  “Go sit down. I’ll get our tickets.”

Ala pulled out her compact mirror.  Her face was deep red, almost resembling a rash.  Her feet barely moved forward.  She had to find a way to calm down. This trip was what she had wanted.  This was the reason she took the job. She made her way over to a scratched plastic chair and sunk into it.  She watched families and business men pass by, nearly colliding into each other from opposite directions.  No one seemed to look where they were going.  Her hands shook as she reached into her purse and pulled out the envelope.

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Excerpt 144


The frigidity stung her skin as she slapped handfuls of water against her face. Some of the water got into her eyes, which caused rapid blinking. What Arlene said couldn’t matter after everything that had happened.  After all, she could’ve been planning to take the wallet herself, if Danno hadn’t first.  Ala never had asked him how he got her wallet, most likely because she didn’t want the answer to be that he stole it.  He should have told her about it, of course.  And then she wouldn’t have had dinner with him.  And she certainly wouldn’t have him now.

She blubbered loudly, realizing she hadn’t even filed the report with Arlene and now the little boy had no chance of escaping his rotten mother. It was all her fault, but she couldn’t face Arlene again.  It made her insides shake to think of speaking to anyone right then.

Grabbing a brittle paper towel from the overstuffed dispenser forced it to tear out in pieces.  She rubbed the paper against her skin until her nose and cheeks were inflamed, then stepped back from the mirror, smoothed down her hair and left the bathroom.  She walked across the promenade toward the clubhouse, wondering if she had unplugged all of the gadgets in Emmanuel’s house and also if she’d turned off the lights.  She had left most of her things at her parent’s house and would have to decide if she wanted to go get them and risk seeing them in the middle of another unnerving gathering.

The bar was empty, besides Glenny wiping down the bronze cash register. She spotted Danno sitting at a patio table on the terrace.  The wind had picked up, forcing the petals of the gardenias in the arrangement on the table to flutter, along with his hair.  She could see that he had ordered a drink, and was halfway through it as he watched the horses trot around the circle with his back to her.  A chill invaded her, as she considered turning and leaving, without saying anything to him.

Her ankles felt heavy and the ceiling seemed to be lowering slowly to eventually press her into the ground.  She wobbled to the closest booth and climbed into a fetal position to rest.  Glenny either didn’t see her or didn’t care. She assumed he would have had to learn to mind his own business working at a bar in a racetrack.  She tried to keep her eyes closed to invite the illusion that she was getting rest.

She could hear several pairs of footsteps coming over, then bodies shifting into the booth next to the one she was trying to nap in. There were a few male voices discussing money, women’s bodies, who was going to win Friday’s fight and other topics that seized Ala’s interest enough to keep her from sleeping.

Her phone began to ring and she heard the men pat their pockets to check if they were getting a phone call.  She sat up and dug her phone out of her purse. Danno was calling her from the terrace outside. She ignored the call and climbed out of the booth.

“Hey,” a ruddy faced man wearing a pinkie ring said, “We didn’t know you were in there.  We would’ve watched our mouths.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, I must have fallen asleep,” she said, pulling her bag over her shoulder.

“Well, now that you’re awake,” the other man with hair plugs said, “come have a drink with us.”  He motioned her over by cupping his hand and wiggling his fat fingers.

“No, that’s alright. Thanks though,” she was hoping Glenny was watching the interaction, but his head was down as she swept behind the counter.

“Come on, one drink won’t hurt. Let us get to know you. You seem like fun,” the first man said, wiping sweat from his forehead with a cocktail napkin.

“It’s the hair,” the second man said, “That’s a hot, wild look.”

Her face burned with detestation for them and she turned to walk away. She thought of the man throwing clumps of hair he hacked off as she trembled in her underwear.

“Guess we won’t find out if the curtains match the drapes,” one of them said, causing his friend to erupt with laughter and hit the table.

“Hey, don’t walk away when we’re talking to you.  Mangy slut.”

Before her next breath, Ala was back at the table, and in what seemed like a second, had picked up a full glass, smashed it against the booth and was holding the serrated based near the ruddy man’s neck.

White light flashed in front of her as someone was pulling her away from behind.  She turned to see that it was Glenny, whose frail frame was surprisingly strong.  Danno must have rushed inside when hearing the commotion because he was now covering his eye with one hand and examining the bloodied knuckles on his other hand.

The scene was quiet except for the piggish man, now on his feet and screaming in Danno’s face, with dark blood running from his nose.   His friend was on the phone, most likely with the police. Ala dropped the glass and let Glenny walk her away toward the bar.

“I would suggest leaving,” he said.  She watched as the man wound up to punch Danno, who hit him in the stomach before he could, causing him to fall back into the booth.

Rushing over, he took several hundred-dollar bills out of his wallet.  Glenny shook his head in protest, but Danno shoved the money into his apron.  He grabbed Ala’s hand and jerked her out of the bar.

“I just,” she stuttered.

“Don’t talk right now,” he said.  Her whole body was quaking with adrenaline.  She nearly slit the man’s throat or at least could have cut him severely.  They ran through the parking lot to the car.

“Get in the back,” he yelled.

“No!”

He grabbed her arm.

“Get in the backseat and lie down.  You’re going to have a heart attack,” he said, opening the door and shoving her in.  She folded herself onto the hot leather seat, like she had in the booth, and checked her arms for any blood.  She was clean. Danno sped out of the lot, swearing under his breath. She heard the click of the automatic locks.  He thought she was insane and was going to throw herself out the moving car.  She felt like a caged animal and wanted to claw through the interior. “We’ve got to get cleaned up,” he said.

“Can’t we just go?”

“No, we’ll get too much attention.  And I still have work to do. I wasn’t planning on running out of there.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“You’re not sorry.  You’re not yourself. Just rest back there.”

She was herself.  There was nothing wrong with what she had done.  She tried to be polite, but those men had tried to rape her with their eyes and words. And she couldn’t let that happen.  One by one, she bit all of her nails off and spit them onto the tattered car rug.  The car stopped and she sat up to look out the window.

They were at The Daschund, a five star hotel Ala had been to only once for a luncheon during her mother’s charity work.  The carport had an ornate gold fountain with stone cherubs that spouted water.  Danno took one suitcase from the trunk, opened Ala’s door and handed the keys to the valet.  He handed her a plastic key card.

“Go up to room 530. I have to make a phone call.”

“Don’t we have to check in?”

“No,” he said as he headed toward reception. The lobby housed a giant chandelier and lounge with plush ivory armchairs.

She found the elevator bank and went to the fifth floor. She walked slowly down the hallway, looking both ways, with the feeling that someone was going to kill her.  She bolted the door behind her and got undressed. She didn’t even bother looking at the accommodations, which was always her favorite part of staying in a hotel.

The hot shower brought such instantaneous comfort that she let go and sobbed again, startled that she could feel so melancholy without any medication.

Heavy pounding on the door made her heart pulse swiftly, and she left the shower running and went to the door without a towel. It could be one of the men from the bar. It could be the man from the house she was locked up in. It could be Bruno. It could be Emmanuel. It could be Gene. It could be her parents.  She crouched into a ball on the carpet.

“Ala, it’s me,” Danno said coolly. “You bolted it.”  She used the knob to pull herself up and opened the door.  He wrapped his arms around her.  “Don’t answer the door without clothes on,” he said.  “I made you an appointment downstairs.”

She walked back into the shower and finished washing the cold sweat away.  She got dressed and helped Danno clean the cut around his eye with the corner of a damp washcloth.  Remarkably there was no discoloration, only some swelling.  She didn’t want to know how many times he had been hit.

“You don’t sell tapestries or whatever,” she said. He kissed her hand.

“No.”

After he showered, they lay in bed under the sheets not talking until it was time for her appointment.  Then he walked her down to the lobby.

“I’ll be right out here waiting,” he said, which made her smile.

The stylist, Raffi, was petite and talked with his hands, which interrupted the work her was doing on her hair, stretching out the appointment and her patience.

“So was this a dare?” He said.

“A dare?”

“Did someone dare you to let someone cut your hair?”

“No,” she said.

“So, you’re in a band?”

“Yes.”

He laughed and coiled pieces of her hair in between in fingers before letting them fall.

“So, what are we doing?” He asked, grinning.

She looked at her whole face in the mirror, turning her chin every way her neck would allow.  She looked terrible, like she had been wrung out and beaten with a paddle.  Her skin was sallow and her eyes were muted, like she was waiting to die.

“Do whatever you think will help,” she said.

“Girl please, you’ve got great features,” he said, squeezing her shoulder.

“Good. Then use them,” she said.

She kept her eyes closed during most of the appointment, but still answered all of Raffi’s questions, mostly with lies.  She could tell her was coloring her hair when she felt the warm globs nearly run into her eyes.  He talked about being from the West Coast, following a man here, being broken hearted when the man had a child with a woman, and now was ultimately grateful because it led him to his dream career.

The whole charade sounded exhausting and Ala sucked in breaths to keep from yawning. She supposed that her stories about the men in her life sounded the same way. The sleepless nights she had because of Jase’s behavior. The confusion and self-doubt she felt because of Gene.  She couldn’t even think about her father’s contribution to her distrust at this point.  And of course, to a traditional person, the relationship with Danno would sound preposterous and completely out of control.

The difference was, that she was choosing every step with him. She couldn’t blame him for anything that she wasn’t happy about. Even if he wasn’t honest about everything, she didn’t feel like he was trying to manipulate her emotions.  Her reactions were very real and didn’t require the drama usually injected into relationships to keep them exciting.  She didn’t want to question everything about him. She didn’t want to think about the whole of her future.  She was just happy to be with him.

“Open your eyes beauty queen!” Raffi squealed.  She looked in the mirror and liked the black hair he had cut so close to her scalp.  Anyone who had known her for years would be very alarmed, and might even think she was a mental patient.  “Let me do your lips,” he said, applying a shade of red so bright that she looked like a ventriloquist dummy.

She waved Danno inside, who didn’t even look twice at the transformation. He paid Raffi, tipping him well over the cost of the makeover.

“Enjoy this one,” Raffi said, winking at Ala. She couldn’t tell if he had thought Danno was attractive, or if he was attracted to his money.

“I got the bags,” he said. “Let’s go.”

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